Real Change Takes Real Time

You can't create a new way of living without first having a new way of seeing life.

 I just came across something I wrote in August. And it gives me perspective on the timeline of lasting change, how sometimes it feels like changing your life is slower than a sloth. Then you look back and realize 6 months is nothing on the timeline of life.

"I had a killer conversation with my counselor yesterday. Killer effective at giving life. I have been going through a total transformation in the last year. A transformation of my mind, how I think, how I look at God, myself, my circumstances, the world, life. And to be honest, I have felt that by now, there should be more outer, measurable change to show for this inner transformation. I have allowed myself to be discouraged by this frustration and even allowed it to make me question if I’m really still changing at all. Heart change has to come before the rest of your life changes. You can't create a new way of living without first having a new way of seeing life."

So, 6 months ago, I was confident of the inner change. Now, 6 months later (and after almost 2 years of counseling) I am seeing the real, lasting, outer changes. True change that lasts is hard won and slowly. Quick fixes don’t last because you won’t have the internal strength built up to maintain them. I am not who I was! My internal changes are now manifesting in external actions. It’s deeply hopeful and exciting. It’s miraculous, and mundane, and messy, and beautiful. And I’m finally accepting it as it is.